We all hit bumps in the road of life. I am a big believer in it’s not how far you fall, but how quickly you bounce back. Your bump could be that you got frightened about something and that set off a chain of responses that resulted in your habitual reaction such as giving in to temptation, over indulging in a particular craving, distracting yourself with excesses of food or ended up drinking more than you planned, or one of your other distractions that you most commonly use.
I am beginning to write a lot (because it’s SO important) about this, and how the only thing we can really change is our perception to these situations. We have influence over some things in our lives, but mostly we are quite powerless to control every single situation and the feelings those situations bring up for us. That is why our attitude and perception can change everything for us, and it can all change in a very short space of time when we know what to do.
So when you (or I) hit a bump in the road, when we get thrown off track, when we get depressed and feel frightened – what do we do? HOW can we bounce back?
Sometimes however we feel that we don’t want to bounce back. Some of us would rather give in to temptation ans keep suppressing our feelings, emotions and think its easier to keep hiding away under that blanket of our chosen distraction, rather than to begin to understand ourselves and why we do what we habitually do. Is it easier in the long run to keep hiding and stuffing down those parts of ourselves that are dying to be seen, recognized and expressed. The path of self-destruction is filled with avoidance of yourself.
Everyone has their favourite distraction and technique to avoid what is potentially painful. Even too much potential happiness can be frightening, you see its is not just pain that we try and avoid. That’s what these addictions really are – avoidance of ourselves, which is to our own detriment. There are LOTS of ways to be and stay addicted. You can be addicted to substances, alcohol, people, work, fame, success, attention, flirting with people, sugar, food and lots of other things, even like avoidance in novels, films, entertainment – anything to keep you away from hearing your inner voice and true potential. I have concentrated on coaching about food as it has been my key avoidance drug, however they all operate in much the same way. Food has been one of my main avoidance techniques and where most of us need a kick start.
When we hit a rough patch in life, (and all of us do from time to time) instead of just letting ourselves feel it, which will admittedly take some practice and guidance, we tend to choose one of the above distractions or addictions and keep avoiding what’s within us. This is not what life and The Universe has in mind for you. No amount of chocolate, sex, alcohol, success, people or drugs can silence the gentle sensitive whisper of The Universe within you. Your soul needs and desires expression and wants to be heard, and is actually guiding you to understand, know and like yourself better and better.
So, today try this instead, instead of running and hiding behind your favourite distraction, I have another suggestion. My suggestion is that it’s time to stop running from The Universe, your feelings and your emotions and just face them. Be still. Get quiet and listen. Let yourself get angry, let yourself get sad. Face the truth; go through the feeling your experiencing and know when you do it will fade.
I have found a system that has helped me truly face my emotions and feelings instead of running from them. So I am going to give you some tips on HOW to feel your way through your feelings and remain as sane as possible through the process:
Try This;
If you find that you are angry, sad, jealous, hurt, embarrassed, ignored or what ever the feeling it is you’ve identified this time, then ask yourself “What do you have on that feeling?”
Keep asking yourself the same question over and over again, this process can take up to (15 minutes). Write it all out on a clean page everything you have on this one feeling. It is better to speak it out loud but without a coach to guide you then writing is a good substitute. Every time you’ve felt angry for example, what are all the things that have made you angry? Really get to know the feeling, really feel it, this is maybe the first time that you have ever been aware of this actual feeling in your body.
Can you feel the energy of this feeling? Soon you will recognize when you feel angry, what makes you angry and what you do when you feel angry, and what your habitual response is to that feeling has been.
I would LoVe to help you to be able to reach this place, and detox yourself from this feeling that is driving all your cravings and responses that distract your from the pain you are feeling. To really help you, so that you can begin to recognize your own mechanisms to avoiding and distracting yourself, that are sabotaging your day, your relationships and your health.
I will meet you on a skype call and guide you through an experience and out the other side into your own unique Sweet Spot, where you can experience yourself feeling really relaxed, at ease and can feel safe and completely trusting.
Contact me today for your SWEET SPOT EXPERIENCE on Fiona@fionarobertson.co
You will also discover one invaluable and immediate step you can take whenever you feel stressed or have a situation that brings up a feeling of discomfort and pain.
There are additional ways to avoid the distractions you have set up for yourself, which I am happy to share and have listed below.
- Breathe – our bodies need oxygen. Most of us don’t breathe properly and deprive our body from this essential nutrient.
Take 3 deep belly breaths taking a count of a minimum of 6 seconds in and out.
2. Go 100{6a14cc849908c46212f3d2c8a81eada984febec31535ea1cc7f55de4f8a4ba8e} Clean and sober from your distraction of choice. For 30 days give up the cigarettes, the alcohol, the lover, the sugar and the craving.
- Drink your fill – hydrate. Dehydration can lead to all kinds of negative side effects, including depression and low energy.
Drink 1 litre of the best water you can find, if you want details about what water just ask me.
- Exercise – Move your body 3-4 days a week for at least 30 minutes.
- Do a Detox – clean out the old stagnated matter and make room for the new in every sense, a detox can be beneficial to your environment as well as just what you consume. Once you clean up one area of your life the other areas demand a detox too.
- Eat a more alkaline diet. This is a great way to bring your body back into alignment
- Get a mentor or coach to help guide you through this process. It REALLY helps to have someone be an outside observer and guide you through with no judgements or expectations.
- Write your feelings. A spring clean in this way by using a Journal for 10-30 minutes to just let out how you feel onto a clean page really helps.
- Only hang out with friends who uplift you. Take a break from any negative people in your life.
- Write your goals down. Imagine your best life and write down what you really want your life to be like. Many of us have created no clear vision of the kind of life we want to create, and therefore and as a result it never happens. I can guide you with the right questions to ask yourself.
- When you start to have anxiety, sadness or any “negative” emotion, instead of reaching for the pills, the sugar or the drink, just let yourself feel your feelings. Where do you feel it? What does the feeling and the energy of it feel like. What are the symptoms?
- Visit places of high vibrations – sacred spaces, yoga studios, nature, be with awesome friends, etc. Go where the LOVE is.
I hope these tips help you break through. These are some of the most powerful tools I know to connect back to who you really are, to be able to hear The Universe and feel balanced and stay as sane as possible in the process.
Let me know how it goes.
As always, I am here in complete dedication to your experience for a happy vibrant life.
I am passionate about helping you reach your place where food and your other distractions are no longer ruling your life. And you can be aware of your feelings and responses, making balanced decisions from a relaxed and safe place.
Fiona Robertson
fiona@fionarobertson.co.uk
