Author: Fiona Robertson

What Triggers Eating Disorders?

Today, on a cold snowy day, when all my son’s friends were gathering to go for a walk to be in the snow, I was startled by a situation that brought me back to a similar situation that I had had and I felt strongly compelled to warn one of the kids about.

My radar had been triggered and my intuition would not be quiet until I shared my insights, my story with this young lad.

A friend of my son is in a new relationship with a girl his age and they are inseparable which sounds sweet, until I found out that she is so jealous of his friends and especially other girls that she does not allow him out of her sight. She insists on joining in even when she does not like that activity or just stops this young boy from joining in with his friends alone.

Her possessiveness was causing problems with his friends and eventually I knew he would be shut off from all other social events if this continued.

You see I had some experience of this. A first when I met this young man, when I was 19, I was impressed and felt special and I have never experienced this kind of attention and so naturally I took it to mean love. That someone loved and cared for me so much and wanted to be around me all the time and keep me to himself.

However, Early on he found out I wrote to a boy in Munich, Germany that I had met through my family when a group of young Bavarians came to visit us and stay, and we had remained in communication. That had to now stop and I was threatened that if it did not we would end.

It seemed reasonable to me at first as we were going steady and well he liked me to be all his, so naturally I was flattered to have so much attention.

He asked me to stop wearing anything pink or any make up as he preferred me natural, so I did, feeling that I liked to please him.

However being me, because I liked make up I just put make up on when I as not with him or at work. If he checked up on me at work I took the make up off. This should have been a warning sign, but I was young so what ever; It seemed normal to me as I had little experience with Boys and not a great relationship with my Mum which he also increased the wedge between us further.

I wanted to move and buy and new house that was being built near by, and by this time my parents were separated and I was indeed alone with him and I did not believe I could afford to do it alone. I asked if he would live there too and he said only of we are married; So then we go married. I knew it was wrong but I was trapped and too far down the road to stop it all.

Once we were married his behaviour became worse, I had so many rules to follow and even down to what I could eat. He wanted me to look like his EX girlfriend who he raved about all the time. So he wanted me to be a lot slimmer, longer hair and blonde, tiny arms and legs and waist like Kyle Monogue. He called me names and made me feel small and useless.

We would go to parties at friends houses and he would tell me terrible stuff before we went in so I felt embarrassed and he threatened me if my behaviour was too flirty he would smash the guy and me later. He threatened me with concrete wellington boots at the bottom of the canal and as I ad no friends or family who would know or care. He has systematically shut off all routes to safety.

He asked about work and was always so suspicious if I mentioned any one of my male colleges, so I just stopped mentioning names. But there was a work Christmas party coming up and I wanted to go, I loved to dance and get dressed up.

I managed to present the Christmas event in such as way that I could go but I felt nervous all night. I felt watched and in fear of having a good time I refused to dance I would not put it past him to spy on me just to cause an argument and help his plan to make me feel smaller and more useless.

I started to notice that he talked a good talk about work and how tough he was and how he threaten certain people. He worked as a landscape gardener and once had to go to one of the houses to collect something and I was in the car outside but I could hear him talking. Before he went in he said I’m going to tell him what for and that he is a cheater and a liar and get the money he owes us.

I listened to their conversation and it seemed normal no high or loud voices; When he came back to the car he said what he had done and how he had shouted and threatened him. Weird I thought but said nothing. I started noticing that he was the crazy insecure one and that by making me feel small and get me to do things or be a certain way it made him feel manly and like a tough man.

I did not say anything as he had a temper and had been very, very unreasonable and hit me several times but the verbal abuse was just as bad. He pushed me down stairs and took things away from me.

If I ever smiled at someone or was friendly with a neighbour I was threatened, as I was apparently having an affair. His fear and actions were crazy. I told very few people about my home life and I had no contact with my family so I was alone; The friends who knew some of the situations were staying away a long way away from me and any trouble as they did not want to get caught up in any of this although he was charming to some he was vile to others.

I had to get out of this mess I had created for myself and as my Mum liked to say often when I was growing up, you made your bed now lye in it.

I made a decision, I would leave him. The time had to be right. I had to build a safe exit route, I had to get away without any further repercussions. I waited for an argument but it never seemed big or bad enough to use as an exit route. I waited for him to threaten or hit me but when he did it seemed not significant enough to leave for.

There was another Christmas party on the horizon and a friend of mine would come and collect me and we would go together.

Her Dad actually a client of mine in the business I was then in, came to collect me and drove us to the Complete Angler Hotel In Marlow, such a beautiful hotel.

I promised myself I would eng-$joy myself no matter what, laugh Dance and to shell with the consequences

I had such a lovely evening. My friends Dad dropped me off in the wee small hours and guess who was up? Questioning, playing the victim and accusing me of getting up to mischief. I wound myself up to a crescendo and exploded. I used that as the final straw.

I slept in the spare room and although I don’t think I did sleep much, I had made a stand. That was it no way back. He was always remorseful of his accusations and behaviour the next day so when he tried to make up I said it’s gone too far.

He cried and cried. But I was resolute. That week I found a flat and moved out and as It was Christmas planned a visit to my Mums to get away. I was skin and bone but so happy.

When I came back after Christmas I move into my new flat and the girl who had promised to help me was no where to be found, I as alone 15 car trips later I had moved out and although I had to leave my chocolate Labrador behind I was FREE.

The thing is as I write this today 30 + years on, I know that I still have dreams about being trapped with him. I dream I’ve gone back or still in that relationship and I am looking to escape.

It has had long lasting effects and even in ways you don’t imagine like my eating obsessions and desire to be thin, Self hate, poor self image, cruel self judgement, feeling all alone, not asking for help, waiting to be told off or punished for something that’s considered normal, like a fun conversation with someone. I know a lot of my eating disorder and desire to starve myself came from these days and as I face another trigger I am kinder and more gentle with myself and see the lesson and the huge gift from this personal but sad experience.

I am extremely sensitive to people and situations that feel off, and can detect a victim from a mile away. That vibration and self pity that leads to the bully tactics is so loud that I know I have a choice, to stay or go, and deal with it differently and hopefully head on.

I hope that for everyone in a relationship who finds themselves caught ‘between the devil and the deep blue sea’ you know that you get to chose, Maybe you have to be careful how you exit this relationship but you can do it. If I did so can you.

So much Love.

STOP STARTING ANOTHER NEW DIET

If you’re about to start another new diet STOP!

Please!

Diets are not the answer and they have most likely ruined your metabolism and your bodies natural ability to lose weight, even the smallest amount without feeling like you are having to stave yourself to death and all the food you like seeming like it is a sin.

Diets have for sure wrecked your ability to easily lose weight and crushed you belief its in any way possible, and further more caused havoc in your mind about what right to get back in control of your body. So much false information has been fed to women about how to lose weight.

If you like me have been on every diet available and looked for the answer to what is happening to your body, like me you have become stuck in a cycle of losing the same amount time and time again and now wondering why you are unable to get the same results that you had the first time around.

There is a reason for that.

It’s called hormones and it’s time to set you free and have food, diets, and your body issues as a NON ISSUE from now on. Yeah hear you cry!

I’ve had sittings with 100’s of women on ‘Body Code Breakthrough’ calls, looking for solutions to weight and who have all stared with food and restricting food, over exercising and getting nowhere fast, then they get to that defining moment….. when they are ready to do anything to have the result they want, just as I was.

You want things FIXED and NOW!

You’ve gone past that stage when nothing changes and you are ready to chuck it all in and give up and be resolved to the fact that this is your lot or do something you’ve NEVER done before ask for professional help.

Take a deep breath. It is possible. It is not going to take ages or even be that hard, I assure you. You are not alone. You are a super powerful smart and sassy woman and you can turn this around just as 100’s of women have done so far and faster than you imagined. You too get to drop 2 to 10 dress sizes and never have to exercise hard or starve yourself.

I understand what is happening to you, the mental, emotional and physical struggles, the indignity of it all and the ensuing metabolic block.

I’ve got you. I see the weight gain, and loss of the waistline, the exhaustion, lack of interest in sex, low libido, big bloated belly, digestion issues, insomnia, memory loss, brain fog, irritation, feeling you have mild or occasional depression and feel you are being uncontrollably emotional, your body is winding down from its reproductive phase into the next phase of womanhood, and you feel like you are losing control, falling apart at the seams as some of my clients call it, it feels like your body is misbehaving and you are literally losing your mind.

I am not here to watch you muddle through, or become resigned to these changes, or live a mediocre life – Oh PLEASE NO. I know what it feels like because I’ve been there. It’s rotten I know.

If you haven’t completely given up hope of feeling that energy flood your body and the joy of living, feeling like a woman in her prime…. then read on.

When I fell into this phase of womanhood feeling like I failed at everything I tried, I went looking for information and listened to my body and the symptoms I had. I promised myself I would resolve this. I had seen my mother and far too many of her friends struggle with terrible medication side effects and hormone pills and treatments that the doctors got to dish out from horse urine, Prozac to advise like ‘there is nothing I can do’ and they still aged rapidly and I saw the life drain out of them and their weight increase.

Not for me I decided. I knew what I had done to alter my hormones before in another phase of womanhood when hormones were causing no end of problems. So, I began to experiment with nutrition, It took me a lot of trail and error to adapt my intake to get the results I wished for. I was not a 30 something anymore but a 50 something and that was the difference.

Then I also looked and researched into what I was putting in as far as my mindset was concerned, and saw how the constant thoughts that I churned around in my head were equally as important as the cleaner nutrition I chose, as they caused certain hormones I did not want to race about my body to be released too. These chemical culprits from worry, stress and over work were adding to the adrenalin, Cortisol and Insulin in my blood stream that contributed greatly to the weight, the feelings of depression as well as the exhaustion. It took a while to get a new perception and have that working out for me and to change how I saw things, this alone impacted and altered these chemicals and hormones just by what I was concentrating on and I saw how I had un knowingly become addicted to the negative chemicals. I was used to being my normal every day mediocre struggle experience I had not seen the place I was in. Quite quickly things turned around 180°.

Change was happening and so easily now that I saw the benefits every day.

I figured out the best way to reclaim my body, my mind and soul and what I fed myself in terms of all three, the best nutrition, the best thoughts and I became more connected and tapped into myself as a happy soul. And each one has become equally as important as the other.

Ultimately I got myself back in tune and in a great place, I stopped the weight creeping back on, I felt like a younger more energized and happier version of myself. All because the lady loves her hormones…

And that happy experience has driven me to assist women from all over the globe to get back what they thought they had lost forever, lost in the fight with invisible hormones and attitudes that kill the light and turn it off in every woman struggling with her body because of hormones.

I did not create the programs I run over night, they have taken experimentation and guts to evolve into what they are today. Successfully seeing 100’s of happy women drop 2 to 10 dress sizes and regain their health and vitality, feel safe in their ability to play all out at life all go hand in hand with upgrading nutrition, mindset and re connecting with yourself as you came here to be, as a woman becoming her best self, living free and transforming your life in ways you cannot even imagine just yet.

It is the HOPE you have been looking for and I am blessed to be able to bring this to you, because you deserve to feel your best and look amazing.

1. Dive into a Body Code Breakthrough call and discover what is the NO 1 hormone block that has halted your ability to lose weight and discover your Body Code in the process

Body Code breakthrough

FOC call and Schedule me

2. Jump on board the “2.2.2 – 2 dress sizes in 2 months” program starting in February 2021 and work to reset and re calibrate your hormones so that you can fit into your favorite dress for the summer.

Your ability to access your fat cells and re charge your hormones positively will astound you.

2 dress sizes in 2 months

Natural weight loss program – 222 Total Body Reset

3. Make a new betrothal to yourself and start a new relationship with yourself and your body, mind and soul. Peace with Food feeds your soul, your mind and soul so that you are phenomenally strong and nobody’s opinion or rejection of you ever rocks you again. Take 6 months to develop a deeper knowing of yourself, create strong boundaries, express yourself and never look back. Ditch the Diet & Exercise Trap.

The new upgraded version of you is about to breakthrough.

Peace with Food 6 months

Peace with Food, – Peace In Your Body And Mind

diets emotional eating Emotional eating help Help for beyond diets help with hormones for weight loss hormones weight and hormones

Why Is It So Hard To Love Myself?

Why is it so hard to love myself? I feel broken….

All night long I pleaded and cried.

I never thought it would come to this or that escaping that trap I would find myself here. . It’s been a long road but I am finally FREE at last

I am lying on the floor in the hallway, getting a really close look at the pile of the 70’s patterned carpet in our hallway, curled up in the fetal position protecting my stomach. I am in our family house in the hall way between the kitchen and the lounge being kicked and screamed at, and the person standing over me raging uncontrollably has a knife in her hand, as she’s just been chopping vegetables for dinner.

I cannot see why this has such a BIG reaction, it‘s beyond my comprehension as a 12 year old that my mother would stoop so low.

I have just informed my mother (rather late I admit) of a list of cooking ingredients needed for tomorrow’s cookery class. I kept putting it off day after day this week as I was scared of her (this very exact) reaction, which was normally predictably one of anger, and that I was putting her out and wasting her time with all these insane late requests.

“She must have had a bad day,” I remember thinking or “She just hates me”

Never once did I consider that her life was just way too hard for her and that she was ill-equipped and was afraid. Dad was having affairs and travelled most of the year and she was alone as a single mum. Yes I know that’s Victim energy. Her life was actually not too bad at all, it just seemed so. And so my brother and I sadly got the brunt of her anger and permanent dissatisfaction.

I am a young girl and already used to being terrified of a sneeze, or hearing her Hoover and bashing around the house. My senses are on red alert and know she is the strongest person in my environment, but I cannot trust her. She takes no prisoners and oh boy does not suffer fools gladly. Her temper is like a spark hitting puddle of petrol. The heat races through the house, and everyone takes cover.

As an even younger girl, I have learnt how to gauge the mood from noises and like a spider on her web the slight fluctuations in the air and with general knowledge. But, it’s exhausting being vigilant like this from dawn to dusk. I am not a happy child and take to overeating to fill the gap. I turn off my ability to feel for years and turn off my emotions so as to feel FAR LESS of everything. But I develop a cheeky and rebellious personality to this fluctuating atmosphere in the attempt to keep it light and discover obsessing over food is a great way to numb out the voices from my soul.

Who Knew I Was Empathic?

I remember a story when I was 8 and had been cheeky or done something that broke the rules of this woman, and she caught me and reached for the nearest weapon, which was a hand mirror on my big mahogany dressing table and swiftly and sharply dealt me the consequences across my arse. 1, 2 and Crack the mirror broke (soul intervention) and in that split second I twisted and turned saying “7 years bad luck” and ran like the wind.

There was no rhyme or reason to the mood swings, all the way from grumpy and giving the silent treatment to looking for someone suitable to let out the rage of the day at and thrash.

A grew up attuned to her and then others moods sensing the minute alterations in the wind and temperature. I was affected and influenced and learnt to trust no one. Then later on I adapted my skill to feel into people and ask questions of their safety and trust worthiness and more recently over the last 5 years as a Body Whisperer in what causes their health and weight issues as well as their blocks in their business and in beloved relationships from parents, partners and children.

I became adept at reading and getting information and used my body – that had sadly taken the toll from being abused and I went through a stage of hating my appearance, body image and tried to eat or starve myself happy. I now allow my body instead to not just be a thing to be admired but a sensitive finely tuned asset to read and gain valuable information.

I had learnt the hard way maybe, but I had learnt and appreciated the sensitivity I now have and know that my soul was looking out for me and had my back on so many occasions.

My beliefs that I did not matter from my early years brought a cascade of relationships (abusive, violent and with emotional blackmail) that reflected that actual belief I had held about myself. And once I homed in on and used my natural instincts and intuitive skills, I realised I was so much more than anyone could see or presume to know about me

I adapted, I changed and chose to be truly me.

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.” Charles Darwin

I discovered a phenomenal inner strength that nobody’s judgement could rock (soul assisted) and I could and was creating a truly different life for myself.

I was meant to be this beautifully sensitive and yet at the same time not to be affected by the people and surroundings that wanted to pull me down with them. It had me trapped with old out of date beliefs of struggle, effort and survival that go along with this world. But Now I am FREE.

I believe I chose this life and these circumstances as well as the relationships, which were to remind me of my innate ability to change and create, and that I am safe to be empathic, intuitive and have as much fun as I choose to have in this body. I know without a doubt that I am supported by soul and have built an intimate relationship with her that I groom with daily communication, listening intently is a skill everyone can develop.

With my eventual acceptance that I was intuitive and hearing my soul pressing me from ever side to do the unimaginable. To let go of the memories, stories I felt had identified me and chose to rise above and beyond the earth and her rules and rituals is to now walk on earth, and not be affected nor influenced by what drama’s surround me.

I altered my story and what I believed had moulded me into the identity I had, and saw clearly that the only person it was hurting was me, So I let it go. And Now I am free to be in her or anyone’s company and see it for what it is. I discovered that I love myself, feel strong in being me and that has amplified my capacity for love that I have for myself and that I can feel from others too.

The funny thing is as I shifted so did she, softened and let go too. As you heal so you heal the others in your stories as well as many, many generations before and in humanity holding the same story as you once did.

Note: She too had her valid stories of hurt and blame and what one could reasonably say made her who she was and what she acted out, as did all of the others I attracted into my life who were just mean, yet they preferred to hold onto the stories of hurt blame and criticism and sadly now suffer with ill health and bad luck as they are creating their own experience based on what they still believe.

It’s a shame because I see so many suffering the same repeat patterns of their own thinking and creating a life of misery.

If you feel trapped and repeat the same scenarios in relationships, with your health from weight to sciatica and suffer with your digestion and even your business is taking a nose dive…Nothing is working as it used to…. It’s time to set you FREE

Create your new reality …..

Anonymous – No Name –

REMEMBER THIS “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

4 Sizes Smaller Wearing My New Identity

4-Sizes-Smaller-Woman-at-work-with-Computer

SOS “I’m about to lose it all!!!” This week I received an SOS call from a very successful well-regarded lady who just had to tell someone. That she was about to lose it all. How could she admit that to everyone?

That she was about to lose it all and experience it all just vanish, her business name, all the assets, and programs, and have no access to her funds and investments from years of work. Everything had gone BAD and I feel I need to FIGHT even harder.

She had just 2 weeks to prepare a negotiation and fight for what she had worked hard for and created as her livelihood.

She was feeling so scared, desperate and angry and knew that she had to find a new way to survive. Our discussion went down a track that was guided for her with revealing questions and assisted her to see what was in fact happening, what had been created and how to handle it energetically, and rather than diving into the pain, suffering, and need to fight her way out what we saw was that she soared out of this situation. You cannot fight the situation back into peace.

You cannot do this with the same mind that created it. After the initial intensive preparation of 2 weeks, she was wearing her new identity. No longer desperate or angry or scared of the journey ahead, which would have only attracted more devastation, more fights, but instead with her true wit and humour and grace that revealed so much more than she ever expected.

“I came to you because I felt compelled to, it was like a strong craving that would not go away, you popped up in my mind again and again at the moments I needed solace and understanding. I had worked so hard and about to lose it all. But what happened next blew my mind. What I feel and know now is that it was meant to be.
I am back all the stronger for it, LOVING myself so profoundly, not only did I get a new angle on what and how I serve my people into the next phase, but I let go of so much more, including my old identity’s need for extra 4 dress sizes, as they represented what I was holding on to and fighting for, that was well and truly in the past. I am a completely new woman and I see now why you came into my life” “ Thank you”.
Amanda F.W. Blythe

That feeling that is currently terrifying you and about to rip your life apart, can you see it as a sign, an opportunity, a soul intervention for a new identity?

How would your old identity deal with this?

How will your NEW identity deal with this?

Time to get serious. YOU can achieve a radical shift too, but you will need gentle assistance to alter the mindset that holds you down and away from what you want to experience. Your beliefs will always pull you back to where you created that experience

If you find that you are indeed ready to accept assistance and be prepared to create from a place of what you come into alignment with – you will then experience. Go ahead and join in the next 90-day training.

This will be the most honest, impactful and radical training yet with insight as to what has created you and your situation so far and I guarantee will challenge your current way of thinking.

This is for you as a woman ready to let go of the rituals of what you think you as the body need.

Are you ready for a radical experience and to be in a love affair with yourself?

Set your intention to create change in 90 days and have your eyes opened to see what you are guided to let go of in your mind and body.

https://www.fionarobertson.co/…/create-your-new-reality…

Your Body Knows The Truth

Your Body Know The Truth

Even if you don’t…. Are you aware of your own body language?

Give yourself a moment to imagine this scenario …

You’ve just completed your last session after 6 months with your client. She has dramatically reduced her weight by 4 stone, but in addition to that, she has resolved her long-standing bad relationship with her Mum and can spend time with her without all the dramas and negativity affecting her, she tunes into the body language and chooses her body language.

She sees her Dad so completely different now and can talk to him normally without the stress and habitual anger welling up, therefore, leaving her free to enjoy her life, having so much less to worry about.

She saved her own skin and business from her now ex-business partner, who was just about to do the dirty on her, because she sensed her body language and his energy and linked the severe digestion problems and negotiated a release just before she lost everything.

She knows her body is more than something to be admired. It is her finely tuned intelligent ASSET that allows her to read and process information quickly, make decisions and know how to take care of her exquisite wellbeing. She reads her own body language accrrately

She is INTUITIVE and is acutely aware that her body responding to her environment and people in it, sending her warnings and she has a rock-solid daily practice to keep her re-patterned energy steady and in place.

You’ve LOVED every second of working with her and seeing the positive changes she has made to her daily life, as well as the grace and ease she now feels in her body.

But she’s not the only one, you’ve seen 100’s of women come into their own, become phenomenally strong and nobody’s rejection, opinion or criticism ever rocks them again.

So self sabotage patterns and triggers for food and cravings and filing in that empty pit in their stomach are all in the past.

And now you just want to teach this access to intuition and methodology ALL the time.

This is me, so thrilled and happy to see women polish off the dross and old patterns of thinking and habits of overdoing – until they radiate pure bright light and have become their best selves.

Time to get serious. You CAN achieve this connection with your body and fine-tune your Body Language too, but you need help to vanquish those demons, disengage from the old patterns so that you can make an impact on the world that you fantasize about.

Get past the stage of “NOTHING IS WORKING ANYMORE!”

This course will dramatically challenge your current thinking and see you create your NEW reality, as a fully sensory body as an asset at your disposal.

You will embody the calm, secure, strong, and sassy woman you are here to be and turn around those situations that have you holding on to weight, attracting poor situations, people, and challenges in your business, in your relationships that you could well do without. But have only gone on to cause those persistent scenarios and symptoms you wish would go away.

Create your new reality is a 90 day incubator. Create your New Reality ignite your intuition`

Create Your New Reality – 90 Day Challenge – You Get To Have It ALL

You deserve a body that’s AWAKE, intuitive and effectively assisting you manage complicated daily situations, and build resiliance so as to NOT allow things that could affecting or influence you cloud your judgement, ruion your day and have you reaching for solice later on in teh f-)day as a treeat.

Intuition is reconnecting with your body as your soul messenger for you to trust your body as the truth telling barometer that supports your every decision, in every minute of the day

Ignite your intuition

Fiona

Soul Parenting

“I Thought The Detox & Diet Would Fix This!!!”

Body-Renewer-Optimal-Nutrition-choices-huge-rage-of-raw-fruit-and-vegeratables

“I Thought The Detox Diet Would Fix This!!!”

I know you didn’t expect to be here, after spending the last months following that detox and diet and reducing your food intake down to practically zero, Feeling you had to restrict everything you fancied on the table saying it wasn’t for you with phrases like. “I’m detoxing”, “I’m a vegan”, “I’m a raw foodie”. “I’m not hungry”

Yet here you are, just like I was after following other people’s advice of what was good for your own body and not knowing what your exact body code was or what would actually work for YOU. Like me, you did not know your own body and no doctor, dietician or so-called health food guru can tell you what’s right for you without even taking the time to really knowing you, and maybe, just maybe that is annoying you like it did for me having someone else tell me what to do.

I felt like a complete failure, I had picked away off the shopping list every food I liked but was now not allowed. I ended up blaming every food that I craved for adding the pounds.

I had no time to spend the hours of preparation, of these specialist foods and follow these complicated recipes I now needed, according to these experts and dieticians to get healthy and lose weight.

I had no time to do the excessive exercise I was told I needed to do and made to feel ashamed if I didn’t get round to do it. Well excuse me for running a buiosness and family

I had absolutely NO time to investigate if there were even any other options that would work better for me.

I had put all my faith in what others were telling me to do and got ZERO results.

Guess what, I was so over all these diets and being told what to do, when deep down I knew there was something I was missing, something that everyone was not telling me or possibly could not tell me because they themselves did not know

I prayed for an answer that would have my body back under my control and I could feel happy and relaxed in.

I prayed for someone I could talk to that allowed me to live in peace and have 1 less thing to worry about

I prayed for this body to be a NON ISSUE. Not through diets surgery or starvation but through a natural course of action that felt good to me and I could continue for the rest of my life.

My eating disorder had evaporated, I am only vaguely conscious of it’s absence. Like a distant memory. It’s a non issue, and 1 big less thing to worry about. I Love that I TRUST my own body to tell me what she needs, wants and lacks the most. L.H. London.
Addiction gone

My prayers were answered I was sent the person who guided nutrition for women with a certain Body Code, struggling with eating so little as it wrecked their metabolism, that actually gave energy and were still able to lose weight without exercise. The foods that were not only delicious but ate away and reduced the fat being stored in cells.

My prayers were answered when I was sent the understanding of what I was thinking and feeling that had altered the chemicals and had my body addicted to the chemical culprits that had my body store fat and not release the fat Id stored.

My prayers were answered when I was sent the exact method how to create a new relationship with my body, and how to pay exquisite attention to my attitude, energy and focus so that I could appreciate what I had and was about to have.

My prayers were answered and within weeks I had lost a significant amount and then a slow steady comfortable amount each week that I trusted and I knew my own body on an instinctual deeper level I developed an intuitive knowing that I became aware of and liked and trusted my body responses.

I had created a NEW reality and relationship with my body one based on trust. I was suddenly FREE to believe that I could have the body I craved.

Because I see so many women struggle with their relationship with their body from weight to sciatica. I have created a 90 day Challenge to assist you get on better terms and experience a new deeper far more friendly relationship with where you live every day.

It’s a shame because the solution is right at your finger tips, I will help you see for yourself.

Time to Take yourself on, Get serious and Go steady with yourself.

If you are ready to accept help, this will be an honest and impactful challenge that you become to believe in your ability to create a NEW reality for yourself.

Fiona

The Silent Weight You Carry

What on earth could be causing me to feel this way and react as I do?

I boil it all down to being stressed and I know I turn to food and I know I overeat, but I can’t stop it no matter what diet I have tried I never feel satisfied.

There is a big gaping hole I can’t fill and I keep filling it.

I have willpower sometimes then it goes and gets lost in the stress and living my every day life with family and kids and work Etc..

You know the story, you’ve been there.

So why can’t I do what I say I want to do and just drop a few?

I have dieted for what seems a lifetime since my teens I’ve watched what I ate. I dieted on and off and it felt like it was great for having a break and adding in a few better foods and reducing the so-called bad ones. I like to see a diet as a breakaway and take a holiday from my current reality, but eventually, we all have to go back home and resume the daily grind. And well food is an easy way to fill the emotional gap and push down what we don’t want to deal with. I know for my younger years I was not capable or felt mature enough to see the situation for what it is.

I have also detoxed and stopped all solid food entering my body with a fast for a few days or up to a week to clean the digestion and cells. It felt great to have such a clean body I must say, but I could not live like that although I tried. The call to detox I now see for most of us is to get off the merry-go-round for a while and enable us to see clearly what else around us is toxic and that could be put in the bin or have flushed down the toilet. Including toxic relationships and certain ways of thinking which play havoc on your body, mind, and energy.

It’s a long time now I’ve known it’s not just about the food, that food is only 10% of the whole story when it comes to renewing and creating a new body. The real story is how are you feeling, and coping with past situations, what remains in your cellular memory and how to recognise it when it sneaks back up and in silently because it is always there in the background in the subconscious patiently waiting to be paid attention to.

Any time I altered my food and could not get past the first day, it was purely because the diet or detox was going to bring up an emotional episode I was not ready to deal with. The restriction and withholding of food was only going to take off the lid from the problem I had been pushing down.

I have changed what I ate numerous times, as have you I bet. But I never changed that story that was silently running around in my head and bringing up the need for me to be overly alert, vigilant, attentive, and just waiting for an attack or confrontation. I was living on my nerves. Reading situations, the room, and the people in it all the time, That’s what it is to be vigilant. Unbeknown to me I was reading it all rather accurately due to my ultra-sensitive nature having lived a life around bullies and violence verbal and physical I could read when the atmosphere changed and when to run, or hide. My reptile brain was functioning on high alert. Most of the time I never brought it up into my consciousness to see it clearly in my mind and finally be free of how it was affecting me as I was too young and did not have the specific skills needed at the time.

The book review I was asked to do recently on a friends abusive relationship opened up a can of worms for me. It is never a coincidence that these things come about when they do. That’s my soul intervening saying now is the time to let go of another level of that old worn out toxic story.

I knew it was there silently stalking me but I was pushing it down and away. I did not give myself time to go there, to pay it respects and hear what that situation had been all about, for me to learn so that I could finally let it go.

A retreat and a time for a detox is a perfect way to bring up the stories from the past as you can’t cover them over any more with the food, drink, keeping super busy, taking pills or whatever your particular addiction is. You get to see them and learn the lesson once and for all. A detox is a perfect way to let that all go too. But doing it alone could be difficult to handle the roller coaster ride and know you are safe to have this experience and know-how to deal with it finally. Better to have an experienced person to guide you through the rising emotions and stories and safely out the other side.

Opening up an old wound or situation that hurt you takes guts, this is not to wallow in self pity or navel gaze for too long or we have just given it more strength to affect us.

If you are ready to accept help and need to create a new reality of your dreams join my next training. This will be one of the most honest impactful experiences you can have and will challenge your current thinking.

Create Your New Reality – 90 Day Challenge – You Get To Have It ALL

This is only for those who are ready. I cannot do this for you or help you unless you are ready and willing to help yourself and have this as a done deal. Move into the body you want and do all the things you long to do as a fit and healthy energetic woman.

Are there any gifts from abusive relationships?

I have changed, I do not recognise this version of myself at all now, thankfully from the timid, abused girl and those 10 years of torment in my life which acted like a wrecking ball on everything I cherished.

I have never until now shared this part of me, or how it developed and made me stronger and yet still has the ability to haunt me.

This week I was gifted when I was asked to give my review on a friend’s new book about the abusive relationship that she has just managed to extract herself from since lockdown.

She is in her mid 50’s like me now, but I was in my early 30’s when I went through this and broke free from a physical, mental and emotional abuser.

I had no way out as all my bridges had been systematically stripped away and burnt down. Carefully calculated and set up to keep me isolated and dependant. I had to lose contact with my family who were 100’s of miles away, and I was so watched over that I was not allowed friends of my own. I was trapped and it had been orchestrated that I had no one to turn to.

Back in the 90’s all I had was the number of a random safe house hidden in the back of my blood donation book just in case it ever got that bad.

It took me years to conger up the courage to leave. I was made to feel extraordinarily small and worthless, allowed no friends of my own, and made to eat so little, called fat and humiliated before we ever went out, I would end up in tears just before any party we went into. I was told to not eat, so that I would be small and sexy like Kylie Monogue. I was not allowed to wear lipstick or the colour pink or anything girly or attractive or ever waste money and shop for clothes. I was constantly accused of having affairs, threatened if I had an affair or left him, I would end up wearing ‘concrete boots’ and end up on the bottom of a canal somewhere and told “anyway who would know, you have no contact with your family and no friends”.

I got a massive 1-carat diamond ring when we got engaged, only to find out later it came into his possession and had been stolen. It was like his symbol of don’t touch this woman, she belongs to me.

He caused endless trouble whenever we visited family and it was just easier in the end not to go, than for me to be the buffer between them. It was exhausting.

I have been pushed downstairs, hit, slapped and kicked and yet still I stayed, maybe because he was so remorseful for a day or so, and I for a moment believed he was going to be as fun and loving as he was when we first met. He always said nobody would ever love me as he did. But then revert to violence, threatening language, real meanness, and controlling emotional blackmail within a few days.

I have strange memories that come up every so often for example of being made to retrieve my jewellery that I had put his safe care, as I lived in a flat and the front door lock was broken. I had to drive at 3 am to retrieve it from the busy street on a very rainy night when I got that call. All just so he could prove a point that he was in control. And yet still, bizarrely I married this man. Why?

These days I cannot imagine who I was or what I felt like I am so different. I just knew walking down the aisle at 22 years old I would divorce him and make him pay, but right now I am too tired and worn down and don’t feel strong enough to undo the shambles I have got myself into or how to stand my ground. The master manipulator had won.

I resorted to food as my only friend, a small token of how I can treat myself in those stolen moments in my car alone after doing the weekly shop with a big bag of salt and vinegar crisps

How did I conger up the courage to leave?

I remember I prayed for an out, Maybe, he would disappear, or hopefully have an accident and die. But in fact, my prayers were answered when I got a new job. One he could not control or see how strong it would make me, I believe my soul intervened. A job where I started as a PA and grew into one that took me to drive and visit clients all over the UK and I got to meet a lot more people and made real trusted friends, by doing that I found a sense of freedom and even although I was told “You’ll be rubbish! You in sales how ridiculous”. I found the confidence to do this job and thoroughly enjoyed it.

I became extra strong (with fake it until you make it, bravado at first) I was I believe quite frightening, as I took a no prisoners and developed an attitude of not suffering egomaniacs or fools gladly. I turned up the scary don’t mess with me energy to full volume and only as the years went on I have managed to drop the draw bridge and let people I truly feel safe with anywhere near the real me.

I left him by staging a final argument and immediately found a flat and left with the bare essentials. I was stalked and my bank account spied on via his brother. The divorce proceedings were a joke. I fired one lawyer as her letters just made things far worse for me. He and his solicitor were laughed out of court. I was divorced and got my share out of the house, we jointly owned but that I had put the most towards as I was the one working. I cut my losses knowing I was free and could build a new and far better life for myself.

Through this experience, I discovered I could read people and felt what they needed intuitively. I believe I was super sensitive and empathic because of this encounter I had had from living with this man. I had a developed 6th sense about situations, people and places, as do so many women who experience these violent and dangerous situations.

Our senses just have to wake up for us to survive. All of the walking on eggshells and knowing what mood someone was in from their first breath in the morning, meant I reacted to situations in my ultra sensitive ways. I knew better than most when to stay quiet and what people wanted and needed and if they were hiding.

I could feel into people from anywhere and if they would be safe to invite into my space. I used this many times to feel into people I invited into my house when I was a single mother with 2 young boys.

However for decades after I had broken free, I still felt the need to be over vigilant and on high alert in my environment, just in case this person or another similar was in my vicinity and I was vulnerable.

Once, maybe 10 years ago I saw ‘him’ in a supermarket when I was back in the UK. I felt my heart race and catch my breath, with the full shopping basket I had on my left arm as I was on the way to the checkout, found its way quietly to the floor and I turned and pulled up my collar and walked purposefully out if the shop. Sorry for whoever had to replace all that shopping back on the shelves. I could not stay. So I ran. I turned the corner ran to my car, stumbled in, locked the doors and drove as fast as I could away and have never gone back to that area again. I know where he is, he still lives in the same house we bought together in 1987.

Reading an account of another who had broken free from an abusive relationship was so healing and enlightening on so may levels.

For the first time by doing this review I allowed myself to go into detail about things I had never uttered a word to anybody about before. I had kept it all safely hidden under lock and key. Yet it smoldered and stank and became putrid as it wanted to be released. It caused me no end of problems in my relationships with mistrust and over-eating in times of stress.

This opportunity was not a coincidence but another soul intervention to clearly have me let go of what no longer served me, but that I had buried under years of avoidance and overeating.

I have come to believe that abuser and or perpetrator is in fact attracted to the qualities in you that they lack, the confidence you possess and is drawn like a magnet to your inner strength but at the same time frightened because of it, they feel how strong you actually are and could be. It is a far greater strength than theirs and it oozes and radiates out of you.

I believe having had my own as well as assisted women with these same stories, that these abusers feed off the strength of others, like a vampire. Your confidence has to by any means possible be crushed, your will diminished, your ability to be independent and flourish in life removed, and this is what they seek to make themselves feel better and stronger about themselves. They are the weak ones.

There is a great and astonishing gift to read of such a relationship of another having had a similar experience and see it through and unfold as a real gift allowing that woman to have arising out of the ashes like a phoenix from an abusive relationship. It is an opportunity to stand up for yourself. Being in a relationship that is abusive allows you to develop a rare sensitivity to the subtle signs and your senses develop faster than somebody who was not tormented this way, just because of what you experienced in that relationship. That can seem an odd gift but in my experience, it is one that leads to incredible intuition and of trusting your gut instinct, because your body never lies. Your mind will try and keep you safe, and want to make you give in, compliant and small, but your feelings never lie. That very subtle or those not so subtle uncomfortable feelings that are telling you something very important indeed.

This ended up with me being able to be an intuitive body coach. I could hear what people’s souls and bodies were calling for, and why they struggled with conditions that doctor, dietician and other people helping with these strange persistent symptoms could not detect, resolve or dissolve.

Would I change my experience if I could? Hell Yes, of course, but maybe then I would not be so intuitive and sensitive as I am today. My senses would not be so acute without this experience. Maybe then it was a necessary evil that will take us forward into a different sensitive world where our intuition will be of great importance. The intuitive age.

How Do I Get My Appetite Under Control?

My appetite, like a few other things I could mention and for what seems to be the longest time, had been off the rails and seriously out of control.

However, you could find me out at a party or social function and you could be fooled as I would insist and could kid a fair few, that I was happy and pretended everything was just fine.

You would find me spending the whole time however tucking into a bowl of potato chips avoiding any possible confrontation or any uncomfortable chitter-chatter from the other party goers. So who was I kidding?

And then look who seemed to spend more time trying to pull me together and feel more in control before I went out anywhere. …… Duh Me

There is nothing that responds faster than the body to the thoughts and feelings you have.

Your body literally molds itself depending on the energy coming from your thoughts and feelings.

I seem to have spent an extraordinary long time ignoring certain thoughts and especially my feelings.

Trying to catch that string of words that rapidly crossed my mind, that were a mishmash of so many subjects, all rushing across all at once it was like experiencing a storm in my head. I was surprised not to see lightning or hear thunder crashing around me, because inside that was just what it felt like, a frantic storm.

Catching these thoughts then would be a true feet of remarkable genius as well as having to be faster than speedy Gonzales to hear what these thoughts were. Just when I got close enough to feel into those words and give them some a semblance of meaning, or perhaps what it was that I was actually saying to myself. It would slip away.

All I did catch was I felt a strong urge and sense that I would want to run far, far away.

It was a game I had played for some considerable time now with myself, It was my habit of self-sabotage, that insisted I would avoid looking at any of the issues that I was carrying around inside my head. My fears, my concerns, worries or my disbelief that I could have it a different way. I avoided rather well I thought, as well as I became competent at rejecting help and resist all of what could have made me, more conscious of what it was that exactly made me feel so uncomfortable,

If I am completely honest I would never know what I was supposed to do with these thoughts even if I did catch any of them.

Where do I file them?

How do I let them go?

How can I get to be at peace with them?

How much time would It take?

I’m far too busy and so I avoided.

What I did know was that whenever I was overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings I would frequently turn to food to numb out the pain, to dumb down the noise and frantic overwhelm of these feelings I was experiencing, that made me feel irritated, disjointed, and kind of unhinged.

My food choices were poor as if to match the low quality of my thoughts and I ate too much as if to match the quantity and quality of the thoughts I was having.

I started to carry more than I should, I experienced a heaviness and gained weight even although I was eating the healthiest food on the planet. I was a raw foodie, detox diva, and still put too much on my plate, and as I chomped through it all and tried to break it down, I knew It was still all too much for one girl to handle in a day. I wanted a simpler life.

I had heard “Never eat when you are emotional” But that was far easier said than done.

Then with one serendipitous encounter, I was given a gift of how to have silence and peace in my mind. I learned how to recode my over mental activity and find more peace and quiet. It was an animal communicator who introduced me to a deeper safe and peaceful place in my mind. I had been asking how I could possibly do this and asking for help, then this showed up and slowed me down to be at a safe pace and then and only then I caught sight of my stories, and habitual one-liners I had never noticed before. And I felt able to explore these statements that had become my normal chatter and created my current limited identity and truths and I saw what it was that I was eating at me.

I chose to release whatever I discovered by doing some mind reframing and recoding exercises as well as energy-releasing rituals and took the time to pay attention to what I noticed were my limiting beliefs, and one by one I changed and recoded that story I had been stuck in, and the next and the next and so on in the gentlest ways I knew.

I could feel where each one had been sitting in my body, sometimes in my heart, other times in my gut and solar plexus, and then other times in my chest or throat and the effect and influence it was having on me physically, the weight of each story and the tangle of twisted netting it was all caught up in.

One by one I released, each one bringing space and a new peace within me. It was a profound and an experience of deep stillness and I confess I had fewer worries about things and people I could not control or change. My body relaxed and rested, I was exhausted from carrying all that around with me for so long. I noticed the changes on my body at first, I dropped a dress size, then I noticed I was un-phased by other peoples judgment and drama and soon I could easily be more conscious of what I was feeling in my environment and knew if that feeling belonged to me or if it came from another person and I was just feeling their unease. And let that go too.

The feelings came and went flowing in and out as they should without me feeling I needed to hold onto them or own them. I experienced a fuller spectrum of feelings, deeper wider and a higher elated mood for longer and longer. It felt like I was having a love affair with life its self. I was in awe of every experience.

My body was responding better to the thoughts I was having and the mood I was in.

My body reflected my easier going approach to life and as my thinking slowed down from the busy frantic fill my day with nonsense, I had time to be who I always wanted to be. I noticed my shape changed and size altered then the numbers on the scale changed and went down and kept going down. The notches on my belt dropped and I got into clothes at the back of the wardrobe and threw away the ones that I knew I would never ever wear again.

Join in on my recode sessions every week in Women Winning The World with Weight and Self Worth, where we can see clearly and clear one by one which limiting beliefs and resistance you can still have in the background, and that has you overeating because you are being triggered by your thoughts and feelings that make you feel uncomfortable and you feel out of control.

What are you hungry for?

Is that real or fake hunger your’e feeding?

Have you like me battled with food obsessions, diets and then binging and overeating for what seems like your whole life?

From the moment you woke up in your less than heavenly body, food became the thought at the forefront of your mind. Constant questions of what you should eat, what should you avoid, what were you allowed to eat on this or that new diet that you were on.

Over the years food has no doubt become the Bain of your life. It’s taken over so much of your waking day you can feel somewhat like an addict wanting your next fix. Food rules and controls you and it’s not the other way around even although you’ve tried to control food many times it always seems to get the upper hand and hits you slap back right square in the face.

Have you experienced that you have succumbed to foods advances and before you knew it were diving into a bag on rapid movement automatic pilot until the bag was empty. Especially if that food choice was not on your latest diet sheet.

You know what you should be doing or so you thought, but just can’t do it.

When hunger rises up so fast and is so insatiable that nothing seems to satisfy it, that is when you know that there is a deeper meaning to this form of hunger.

Your heavenly body is sending you a message, Rising up from your insides, the soul comes up with a feeling that is impossible to resist the desire that you have to eat something and NOW.

Discovering that I was not actually hungry in the real sense of hunger helped me initially as I began to understand what real hunger felt like and how to distinguish it from other sensations in my gut. The body needs real hunger to release certain specific hormones like Leptin that are only triggered by hunger this hormone then activates the cells to go and seek out and use up the stored energy that the body has put to one side from when we overate. Accessing this was a great discovery and felt very different to the fake hunger I was frequently getting.

The biggest gift was unravelling what I was hungry for behind this fake feeling of hunger, in the sense of learning to listen to my body and not always head to the fridge to cover over that uncomfortable feeling I was experiencing.

You have been taught to avoid pain at all costs and even the slightly uncomfortable feelings such as being sad that you were not picked for the team, or were not invited to the party, got called names, lost the job or even didn’t get the boyfriend or girlfriend you wanted, will leave you feeling something you can’t fathom out or get over quickly, It leaves a mark and affects you and your reaction for years to come.

It’s not your fault that you did not know this, your caregivers were even worse at expressing feelings and so were unable to teach you about the true nature of your feelings and their sensations, and how they showed up in your body. They were a very different generation, one locked into the primary need for survival and raising a family.

This resulted in a gaping hole in your education and in your emotional centre, which has its home in your belly, this is where you have your gut instincts that are basically your feelings, that you can learn to know as your soul and your intuition talking to you.

Your heavenly body and especially your belly area is where you will first experience the sense your emotions as feelings, from the world and people around you. You are no doubt very sensitive and empathic as you know that you are a spirit having a human experience. These feelings that you detect will spiral in and out causing sensations that can feel for the unaware like being out of control. The gnawing deep empty feeling that you thought was hunger can be an uncomfortable jittery sensation. The only way you knew how to quell this rising nauseous feeling was to eat something.

Every time you feel even slightly jittery or don’t know what to do, the only thing that seemed plausible was filling up that vast empty space, so you get to feel something else instead, and numb that unpleasant feeling before it gots any worse.

The hunger you feel deep down in your belly is not for food, you’ve had more than enough already. But it has brilliantly shown you with that churning, gnawing, empty, unstable, wobbly feeling what you really need, want and what you are lacking the most. Your intuition and soul are guiding gently for you to listen to what you need more than food, and I bet you will not be surprised when you discover what it is exactly you were hungry for.

The magic is when you fulfil this need food becomes a non issue and less and less important taking up lass of the mental obsessive space it did.

Are you curious what you are really hungry for?

EXERCISE – The next time you get an attack of the jitters and feel uncomfortable in your body and belly feels empty ask yourself this :-

What would be more fulfilling that food right now?

What is it that would really fulfil me?

Who or what would make me feel safe?

What support do I need right now?

Think back and see what situation made you feel really jittery and uncomfortable? and if you can locate that feeling in your body.

I hope this was helpful and that you can start to distinguish the real from the fake hunger.