My appetite, like a few other things I could mention and for what seems to be the longest time, had been off the rails and seriously out of control.
However, you could find me out at a party or social function and you could be fooled as I would insist and could kid a fair few, that I was happy and pretended everything was just fine.
You would find me spending the whole time however tucking into a bowl of potato chips avoiding any possible confrontation or any uncomfortable chitter-chatter from the other party goers. So who was I kidding?
And then look who seemed to spend more time trying to pull me together and feel more in control before I went out anywhere. …… Duh Me
There is nothing that responds faster than the body to the thoughts and feelings you have.
Your body literally molds itself depending on the energy coming from your thoughts and feelings.
I seem to have spent an extraordinary long time ignoring certain thoughts and especially my feelings.
Trying to catch that string of words that rapidly crossed my mind, that were a mishmash of so many subjects, all rushing across all at once it was like experiencing a storm in my head. I was surprised not to see lightning or hear thunder crashing around me, because inside that was just what it felt like, a frantic storm.
Catching these thoughts then would be a true feet of remarkable genius as well as having to be faster than speedy Gonzales to hear what these thoughts were. Just when I got close enough to feel into those words and give them some a semblance of meaning, or perhaps what it was that I was actually saying to myself. It would slip away.
All I did catch was I felt a strong urge and sense that I would want to run far, far away.
It was a game I had played for some considerable time now with myself, It was my habit of self-sabotage, that insisted I would avoid looking at any of the issues that I was carrying around inside my head. My fears, my concerns, worries or my disbelief that I could have it a different way. I avoided rather well I thought, as well as I became competent at rejecting help and resist all of what could have made me, more conscious of what it was that exactly made me feel so uncomfortable,
If I am completely honest I would never know what I was supposed to do with these thoughts even if I did catch any of them.
Where do I file them?
How do I let them go?
How can I get to be at peace with them?
How much time would It take?
I’m far too busy and so I avoided.
What I did know was that whenever I was overwhelmed with thoughts and feelings I would frequently turn to food to numb out the pain, to dumb down the noise and frantic overwhelm of these feelings I was experiencing, that made me feel irritated, disjointed, and kind of unhinged.
My food choices were poor as if to match the low quality of my thoughts and I ate too much as if to match the quantity and quality of the thoughts I was having.
I started to carry more than I should, I experienced a heaviness and gained weight even although I was eating the healthiest food on the planet. I was a raw foodie, detox diva, and still put too much on my plate, and as I chomped through it all and tried to break it down, I knew It was still all too much for one girl to handle in a day. I wanted a simpler life.
I had heard “Never eat when you are emotional” But that was far easier said than done.
Then with one serendipitous encounter, I was given a gift of how to have silence and peace in my mind. I learned how to recode my over mental activity and find more peace and quiet. It was an animal communicator who introduced me to a deeper safe and peaceful place in my mind. I had been asking how I could possibly do this and asking for help, then this showed up and slowed me down to be at a safe pace and then and only then I caught sight of my stories, and habitual one-liners I had never noticed before. And I felt able to explore these statements that had become my normal chatter and created my current limited identity and truths and I saw what it was that I was eating at me.
I chose to release whatever I discovered by doing some mind reframing and recoding exercises as well as energy-releasing rituals and took the time to pay attention to what I noticed were my limiting beliefs, and one by one I changed and recoded that story I had been stuck in, and the next and the next and so on in the gentlest ways I knew.
I could feel where each one had been sitting in my body, sometimes in my heart, other times in my gut and solar plexus, and then other times in my chest or throat and the effect and influence it was having on me physically, the weight of each story and the tangle of twisted netting it was all caught up in.
One by one I released, each one bringing space and a new peace within me. It was a profound and an experience of deep stillness and I confess I had fewer worries about things and people I could not control or change. My body relaxed and rested, I was exhausted from carrying all that around with me for so long. I noticed the changes on my body at first, I dropped a dress size, then I noticed I was un-phased by other peoples judgment and drama and soon I could easily be more conscious of what I was feeling in my environment and knew if that feeling belonged to me or if it came from another person and I was just feeling their unease. And let that go too.
The feelings came and went flowing in and out as they should without me feeling I needed to hold onto them or own them. I experienced a fuller spectrum of feelings, deeper wider and a higher elated mood for longer and longer. It felt like I was having a love affair with life its self. I was in awe of every experience.
My body was responding better to the thoughts I was having and the mood I was in.
My body reflected my easier going approach to life and as my thinking slowed down from the busy frantic fill my day with nonsense, I had time to be who I always wanted to be. I noticed my shape changed and size altered then the numbers on the scale changed and went down and kept going down. The notches on my belt dropped and I got into clothes at the back of the wardrobe and threw away the ones that I knew I would never ever wear again.
Join in on my recode sessions every week in Women Winning The World with Weight and Self Worth, where we can see clearly and clear one by one which limiting beliefs and resistance you can still have in the background, and that has you overeating because you are being triggered by your thoughts and feelings that make you feel uncomfortable and you feel out of control.
