Nail That 1 Thing That Will Banish Your Jelly Belly Forever
“Playing it safe and staying on the side lines, is the NO 1 enemy of ever achieving your dream of losing that Jelly Belly, and feeling really alive in your body, but will empty your purse every single time”
When I read or hear phrases in the weight loss Industry that say all those well crafted clever phrases, that I have to say used to sell to me every single time, the ones that had me dreaming of the result, and id buy the DVD, the packet or the food. But I was looking for the easy way out and playing it way too safe. I bet you have stacks of DVD’s, packets of tea, herbs, seeds, super foods, green foods, detox pills and diet recipe books too. All marketed very cleverly to part us from our hard earned cash. With images of pretty young girls, with perfect bodies and happy open faces. Who I bet have never been fat in their lives. I wish I knew then what I know now.
But here’s what the last 3, 6 and 9 years have taught me about avoiding the risk of really getting what I wanted, That fitter slimmer body. I had previously only really been interested in losing the weight – then I would be happy. However, the weight I was carrying had a very important story to tell me, but I was not brave enough to listen or understand my part in it all. So, I stayed dreaming and playing it safe with a new diet here – a new wonder food there- expecting a miracle with little or no effort.
Oh! and if you really want to know why you need to listen to me …. I’ll give you a brief run down of my own weight story, which on reflection is easier for even me to see than when I was blinded by the hurt anger, the dramas and victim state, that had me overeating and secretly binging and crying daily over my Jelly Belly.
Ever since I can remember age 12 I have been dieting. My first reason was to get a closer relationship and feel connected with my Mum, who was introducing me to diets and always telling me that If I did not look after what I ate Id be the fat girl. I was accused of being over sensitive to her harsh words.
Character no 1… who I ran from and could not imagine ever standing up to.
I was married at 22 to 26 with a man who was brutal, violent verbally and physically. But I was alone in South England and I felt I somehow needed him, the bread winner and I ended up supporting him.
Character no 2.. I again did not stand up for myself but I eventually ran and hid.
I had another sweet, sweet relationship from 27 to 35 and I was so happy and at ease, I lost a lot of weight and until it started to go wrong with his longer harder drinking binges (his story to be uncovered) and I found myself supporting him financially and emotionally.
Character no 3.. Who I left and felt guilty for leaving. Yet he bounced back without me as his crutch surprisingly quickly. I never really told him how disappointed and hurt I was and yes never stood up to his antics.
I met a man when I was travelling at 39 who I felt I could be open with, and we had a family together, but he was verbally violent, very critical and I ended up supported him financially too. I eventually gained weight again that I could not budge, even though I was the Detox Diva. I was alone in SW France but felt I somehow needed him.
Character no 4.. I left and moved on with my life, Now a single mum in France, again I never really told him my inner hurt and disappointment or stood up to him.
I turned a corner and started to educate myself about my emotions at 45, and how to express them and learnt how I could listen to my body, and how she was speaking to me. My weight had shown me that I had needed protection, and that I had run and hidden away from expressing my anger in many situations. I was searching for fulfillment, and something’s had clearly been very much missing. When I was not able to speak up for myself, hurting and angry, I had taken it all in, on the inside, and I had gained weight – as I had used food to relax my body in all these situations. As I connected to my body I started to get clearer, but there was a lot of old hurt to be cleared away. I also needed to find what exactly triggered me to act unconsciously like that.
As always, I had a regular well woman tests and one came back with ‘abnormal cells’ after a smear test, and this time I could see that the hurt had gone deeper. I could not touch it or get to it or act out my disgust at it, as it was really on the inside, and I needed to somehow reach the inside so that I could hear what was going on, and see what I needed actually had to do next.
I got really clear that the weight had been a first step sign, that I was holding onto a lot of old hurt and that I needed to do some clearing with an internal detox, if you will. That was why the weight would not shift, but It brought my attention to the deeper sign that weight on my belly was my sign of being over sensitive to my environment and not nourishing myself. Allowing myself to be hurt and not express my anger or distrust.
So….. these are the steps I took:
Step 1: I noted and got familiar with my triggers for over eating, this took time but was well worth it. Why was I eating when I was not hungry- one was when I was violated verbally, criticized or I felt rejected, not included and not heard. The hurt I felt, rather than me express it – had me eating it away and covering it up. I felt I deserved more – so I took the quickest easiest discrete route – food.
Step 2. I cleared some old hurts that had accumulated, I verbalized them and expressed them fully. This lightened the load I was carrying considerably.
Step 3. I found what I really wanted in stead, I wanted to feel at peace, relaxed in my body but alive as if I was living not just coping. I avoided and protected myself from people and situations that could effect me negatively. I sang – I screamed and laughed out loud again and started to have fun.
Step 4. I found the missing nutrients of my life that made ME feel fulfilled and alive. I started playing and found so much pleasure in my days, where as before I had been so serious, hard working and restrained. I stepped into a new world.
Step 5. I got ahead of my stress and noticed when I was triggered and found a way to communicate that back to the person, or the situation that had overstepped my boundaries.
Step 6. I got really connected to myself. I found myself (her) first in quiet places and then in my every waking hour. We made decisions together about what we would like to do? I got an understanding of my bodies YES and NO responses, and for once I felt I trusted my body. We only ate food we really enjoyed and found food freedom, and I lost a lot of the weight being carried around. I never forced any diet or food or situations on myself (her) again.
Step 7. I really enjoyed becoming the woman I wanted to be in the next phase of my life, free, expressive and a woman who had mastered her days. I discovered my wild, cheeky side and expressed myself in a new way.
NO more the chubby woman with the sad Jelly Belly, stuck in coping through her day’s, with the feeling of : ‘Is that it?’ ‘Is that all life is all about?’, ‘I deserve more!’, because now I was already full and seriously happy, expressing what I wanted and going for it.
Playing it safe
You see, in order to create the body you crave, and let go of the belly, now that it has got your full attention as it stares back at you daily. You have to do what others aren’t prepared to do.
And honestly, I don’t give a monkey’s whether you think that’s a line, to get you to move in another direction with or without me, this needs to be done, to find out what your body is telling you, So Enough is Enough!
Because it’s A FACT.
Playing it safe leads to over thinking, obsessing, complaining, complacency and conserving what you have come to know, all of which will keep you stuck EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE.
It’s doing what others aren’t prepared to do that MAKES you actually get the whole dream.
There are already million’s women out there TRYING to do what you’re TRYING to do. But only a tiny handful who are actually going to manage to really do it.
Because they’re all programmed to play it safe, and so they never do what needs to be done, and they never take real risks. Why? Because they’re too busy over thinking, and instead of wanting to find out why they have a jelly belly and someone else does not.
BUT YOU CANNOT GET THERE WITH THAT WEAK ATTITUDE OF ‘ILL JUST TRY ANOTHER DIET’
It’s impossible.
You see, most women are sadly dying, If they are not already feeling dead and board on the inside, stagnant, stuck and taking on all the stress internally. Because it feels lower risk to do it the way you have always done it, rather than really do what needs to be done and get some real help. To get someone else to guide you through the path they have been on.
But actually what’s true is that it’s HIGHER RISK staying stuck. Spending your days eating away the stress and hurts, and keeping it all going around and around like a toxic soup, on the inside over and over and over. Complaining and huffing and puffing – now that is a really ridiculously high risk to take with your life.
And then you have all those millions of women who are hooked on diets, new recipes, be they vegan or paleo to do themselves at home. Because it feels lower risk to learn for free than to invest your money in something that MIGHT not work. Even if that means watching hours and hours of videos, buying recipe books each week, that all conflict with one another, and leave you overwhelmed instead of creating how you want to feel in your own body.
It’s a massive risk to put your body in the hands of anyone who does not get to know you, and what makes you personally tick. The fastest way to failure is to try and implement a million different strategies and never sticking with anything long enough to create the body you dream of and deserve. This journey is way beyond the physical body, its you.
But there is NO ‘sure thing’ and NO ‘safe bet’ – even the best selling diets like weight watchers who have been going for years have far more ‘customers’ who’ve failed than have succeeded – because success is an inside job, and you have to take the steps that take you to the root cause of your weight, And show up and deal with it before it deals you the second card of fate.
And that requires guidance from someone who’s walking the walk, rather than just talking the same talk blanket to millions.
It takes accountability.
Or you’ll stay stuck as just one of a million women who are, right now, as I type, struggling to make the difference in their weight and cope through each day, eating their way at stress, hurts, abuse, rejection, loneliness, and all the other feelings that create these triggers.
Are you ready to discover your NO 1 TRIGGER that has that chain reaction in your body creating the jelly Belly that’s calling you to take a step on the wild and ALIVE side of life.
Say yes and get the link direct so you can start today, right now to get clear on your NO 1 trigger.
Fiona xx
