Why we don’t want what we say we want
Samantha came to visit me in May this year on a retreat to detox what was going on for her physically, and she told me that she had “simple had it,” she was at her wits end trying to get her body to conform with the diets she could not stick to and had had NO success with.
It was her fantasy to drop a 5 dress sizes but never managed even keep one dress size off, and she was NOW clear that she wanted to get past whatever was stopping and blocking her.
She knew on some level that it was she who was the one blocking and stopping herself but could not for the life of her see for herself what it was.
After a time when Samantha was settled into her time out on retreat, we started with an assessment of where she was and what else was going in and around her.
I asked her 5 specific questions that helped myself and has moved 100’S of my clients see and be aware of their resistance that they put up to what they said they wanted. These questions immediately enabled her to get to what was really going on.
What we discovered was her single biggest reason why she could and did not get past a particular point, and why she always, always went back to her same size and plus a bit more on besides. This reason was that she was frightened of who she would become when she got to where she wanted to be and had fantasized about body-wise for decades.
She had never expressed it in this way before and always just pushed it away thinking “that’s ridiculous”. But it was real. Very real for her and she was frightened she would not fancy her husband, she would change so much that she might not like her self as this confident woman we were introducing her to.
She would lose her current life, her husband and everything that made her feel safe today.
This is a not a unique feeling! Oh no, not at all. I see this a lot that women are simply terrified of being powerful and successful in business, or in a body that means she has up-leveled into what she actually fantasizes about.
It is not your fault
You stop and block what you want as you have never been shown how to live and how to experience life as the woman you said you wanted to be.
Feeling SAFE as you transform into the new version of you is a prerequisite for reaching success and having what you want with anything. If you do not feel safe or know how to turn up and move forward, then guess what you will resist every opportunity to reach your best self..
This resistance and self-sabotage is such a primitive survival tactic from our reptile and subconscious brain, which means it will always keep us looking out for danger and keep us safe, and keeping wherever and with whatever we have become used to as our safe and familiar feeling.
This has become our home. By stopping us our survival self, needless to say, won’t allow us to make any changes towards what we now say we want.
So this is why we don’t want what we say we want, our subconscious mind is keeping us safe.
Thankfully once we had discovered what was holding Samantha back we were able to give her a new perspective and how she could feel very safe as she progressed into transforming into the woman she had always dreamed of being. Within a few months she dropped the 5 dress sizes, and along with that she unleveled her business and started attracted in new clients, money and opportunities and fell back in love with her beloved man.
She laughs today as she says “you reached parts of me that no one else could reach” I feel priceless she told me and so many people are now telling me that I am far more relaxed and literally radiating and seem far more contented. I agree I am a deeply satisfied woman.
So far from losing herself and being out of control, losing her life and love, she became stronger and more in control and moved towards what SHE wanted.
To make this quick self-assessment of yourself today answer these 5 specific questions that will help you to identify your single biggest resistance to what you say you want and have been reaching for.