June 2017 I stand in a room with 200 strangers and It’s my turn to walk up onto the stage and deliver what I want to share.
My heart is in my mouth, I’m not thinking about my talk at all, I’m concerned about how I look, who will take me seriously? Is this dress Ok?
OMG, I talk to myself, how many times have I been here how long have I tried and failed to get the body of my dreams and that looks like the ambitious, go getter, she’s got it all together, totally credible, a respected leader that I know I am.
It’s taking all of my energy and concentration to not run away right now, as I am embarrassed that I don’t look the part of the woman I am about to talk about.
But whenever I have to stand up and have all those eyes on me, when I am looked at, I freeze and clam up, get all hot a sweaty and really I let myself down because I am terrified of being judged, and ridiculed and I will have to prove myself in a confrontation.
I wanted to walk up to the microphone and pour my heart out and say I had no idea why I looked the way I did or why my body was misbehaving despite how hard I tried but listen to me because I absolutely do know about being a leader and a strategist and a make it happener.
I wanted to describe how frustrated I was and I didn’t feel like I had accomplished anything worthwhile because I did not look the part of the phenomenally strong women people expected when they know me as a leader.
Wind forward to today and I can see there was a much deeper frustration within me that had been there all along but I just hadn’t been noticing. Standing with my arms outstretched and not hiding an inch has become my signature on stage. I dropped 2 stone and in as many months and these 2 stone were representations of my heavy thoughts and beliefs about myself. Each one a large bag of pain, sorrow and self-doubt which I lifted off one by one, never to go back to that way of being ever again.
I am sharing this story because I feel that you may be someone who can relate to the frustration and I wanted to tell you that, it’s not your fault.
The frustration is a good sign. It means you are done with mediocre and settling for average for yourself and you are ready to breakthrough to the other side. This was the very stuff I taught in business but standing on that stage that day I saw clearly what I had been doing for years and just how frustrated I actually was.
Up until that moment on stage I had not acknowledged myself or what I really wanted or was prepared to really achieve in all areas of my life.
It wasn’t until I made a decision and felt myself really committed to it that things started to happen, I met the people, read the books, did the courses and connected and fell in love with my inner self, all of these synchronicities showed me how my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings were blocking me physically from letting go.
The critical mindset shift is critical to experience what you crave the most
If you want to break out of your comfort zone and have your own leap into a life that is fun and filled with new opportunities that you can accept freely and walk on stage and be seen as the phenomenal woman that you are, then you need to take a course in becoming a phenomenal woman.
This happens on mentoring calls and a VIP opportunity to come on a retreat in SW France to deepen the process and embody who you want to become in the next phase of your life.